I watched, what I think was an under 21 soccer match between Argentina and Bolivia last night. Maybe even younger as soccer players go, and I was fascinated at the diving and dramatic writhing. I have played soccer over the years and have been trodden on or tripped or whatever in the running. A hefty American once bruised my rib, but I can’t remember writhing on the deck. I have watched high school soccer and seen very little writhing. It looks quite fun but if you want to keep going writhing gets in the way. In some way it looks like the lads came out to have a good writhe but in between realized they had to kick the ball about a bit. Play the game. For appearances. I don’t think I am being unfeeling: 90% of the time the poor wounded man hobbles a moment, then runs around like nothing happened. In fact I think it would be a great tactic to just keep going: Maradona seemed to do this, just when the opponents think “O this is when he will have a bit of a writhe,” up he gets and runs on, and did all those marvelous things he did. Like scoring.
And I further wonder, why do they all agree to this drama competition? The women players do it much less. Which is interesting: is this a chance for men to show their “feelings” on international tv? Expressing pain they’d never dream expressing otherwise? It seems, of all the team sports, soccer is the most expressive, lots of hugging! Individual posturing then team feel. Indeed, theatrical. With all that pouting.
Is it an agreed tactic? Swan dives in the penalty box, like Nureyev on top form? And there is no originality, the movements of the writhe are precise, studied, the clutching of the offended ankle when replay shows the blow was to the head, the Munchian scream of the face. Is it practiced in training? The rolling in the mud?
Now, the point, the next point, does this travel, apply to other areas of life? Since soccer is the most international of games, do we see this agreed on writhe-in in other areas of culture? Like politics. The great Dionysian populist thing.
Watch the crowds. No polite tennis claps or putting hush. They will roar and sing for ninety minutes, and writhe. Perhaps the writhing has no pain at all, that is just pretext, for the huge orgasmic rush that happens when the goal is scored, the missed shot is the shadow, the tackle that took you off the ball. Once you have been beaten, draw the foul: righteous revenge, much more than good play. Soccer is the most Homeric of games, the greatest of feats and the lowest of behaviors almost simultaneously. The hand of God! The attackers lack, the defenders prowess, you have been beat: so you writhe (and whine.)
And so do we, roar at conventions, smug in victory, vengeful in defeat. Did the Democrats spend four years “witch hunting” Trump? Or is it easy and permissible to feel that way. On both sides. The problem is the problem: it allows Trump followers to claim we are just sore losers, and covers the tracks of an appalling man being a worse President. If Russia cheated on Donald’s behalf what do they have in common but Oligarchy? And who has sanitized that form of governance for a couple hundred years? We, the great champions of cheat.
And natch, we all blame the refs. The ministers of the injustice we prefer over the injustice they do. O it was Comey that lost Hillary the American Cup! Too bad we don’t do best of sevens, five setters, to decide who will be King or Queen.
And there is the greatest writhe inducing un American factor: the tie. It is just not conceivable! Somebody has to win. No well played you! Is this why Mikaela was so ignored during her amazing season. The woman doesn’t writhe or pout and preen. She is happy when her best skiing wins. If she skis her best, the rest is the rest. What a teaching she brings. And what a silence responds. It seems she missed that training and in skiing writhing wins no advantage. In Soccer that is the intention, witness Maradona, who played on, and was the most hacked in history. Maybe this is why he was so great. The rest of us go to Universities of writhing, get degrees in it. Writhe on.
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